Five with Fry

16: Five Strategies for Managing Tough Conversations with Kierra Pelz - Part 1

• Dr. Jen Fry • Season 1 • Episode 16

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In this episode of Five with Fry, I’m joined by my good friend Kierra Pelz — a passionate coach, gym owner at Premier Academy, and a powerhouse in the world of cheerleading. Kierra shares her journey from reluctant participant to strong leader, and together, we dig into one of the trickiest parts of coaching and leadership: managing difficult conversations.

We talk about the unique challenges women face when stepping into leadership roles, especially around conflict management, and share five practical strategies for handling tough conversations with athletes and parents. Kierra even offers up some real-world templates you can use when responding to parent concerns because no one loves crafting those emails from scratch!

We also dive into why empowering young and rookie coaches is a game-changer. Giving them the tools and trust to handle communication directly not only grows their confidence but also frees directors to focus on the big picture. Plus, we break down why face-to-face conversations (not just texts) are critical for building a strong, cohesive coaching culture.

This is the first episode in a three-part series packed with real talk and actionable advice to help you lead with confidence and build a healthier, more effective team environment.
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Kierra Pelz is the co-owner and operator of a cheer gym in Alberta, Canada. Her gym is a thriving community where young coaches grow into exceptional mentors while inspiring the next generation of athletes in both competitive and recreational cheerleading.

As a mother of two, she understands the importance of balance and has built systems within her business that allow her to lead effectively while prioritizing her family. These systems also empower her coaching staff, giving them the tools and confidence to excel as leaders in and out of the gym.

Beyond the gym, she is passionate about leadership development and helping young coaches grow into strong, capable mentors. She actively speaks and teaches at industry conferences, including those hosted by Next Generation Gym Owners, where she shares insights on systemization, time management, and leadership. She is committed to lifelong learning and continually seeks opportunities to refine her skills while helping others do the same.

Dr. Jen Fry:

Friends, welcome to Five with Fry, where five is the magic number, whether it's five minutes, five questions or anything that fits in five. I dive into the big topics that matter, sometimes alone and other times with a friend. From navigating sports conflict to family dynamics, travel, tech, hard-hitting issues and even politics. Nothing and I mean nothing's off the table. This is where curiosity meets conversation, and we always sit at an intersection. I'm your host, dr Jen Fry of Jen Fry Talks. Let's get into it, friends.

Dr. Jen Fry:

Welcome to a new episode of the podcast, five with Fry, where we talk about five of anything. We talk for five minutes, whatever it is. We have another one of my great friend podcasts where I get to bring a friend on and we get to do some razzle dazzle. So I just want to let you know that this podcast is going to be in three parts, because the conversation that Kiara and I had was phenomenal and was in depth and we didn't want to just cut it off or make different points in there shorter, so we went for the long haul and so because of that, we have made this podcast into three parts. You are listening to part one and enjoy, and so this one's actually very fascinating. So if you know my tech platform portal, we help groups move easier. We put everything in one app. It's supposed to just communication. We have itinerary, meal orders, all that jazz, and so I was at the Next Gen Coaches Conference, which is run by Shelley Shepard, and even though it's for cheer and dance, it really gives you great information through any industry Like.

Dr. Jen Fry:

It was a phenomenal conference to go to, and one of the sessions was about difficult conversations, and you all know that if someone's talking about difficult conversations, I need to be in the room to learn from them, and so I was super lucky to get to meet Kara Pels of Premier Academy, because she was talking about difficult conversations with parents, with coaches, and the stuff blew my mind, and so I said I have to have her on my podcast. So, kiara, introduce yourself. How did you even get into cheerleading before we even get started? How did you even get into that?

Kierra Pelz:

Well, first of all, thanks for having me. It was a pleasure to actually meet you in real life and then to be able to reconnect on this platform is a huge honor. How I started, I mean, I got into cheerleading I was 12 years old and my parents had thrown me into every other sport and I had a lot of complaining to do about all of the other sports and they finally found one. They said, well, give it a try. This was kind of a last resort for them to. You know, give it a try. They didn't know much about it, but one of my friends had had invited me to come as a bring a friend kind of day and I joined them and totally fell in love.

Kierra Pelz:

And then my dad was relocated and so we had to move and I had only been in cheerleading for, I think like at that point it was probably six months, and I hated my parents for it and I gave them a really hard time and my mom made me a promise that by the time we got to the new school if there wasn't cheerleading there, then she would help me start one. And I held her to it and we started one and we ended up having multiple teams from my high school and then I went on to cheer university and that's when I started coaching as well, and when I was in high school we ran like summer camps for the elementary schools and stuff. Like we really dove into it, and so I've been coaching for the better part of 20-ish years. What are we? 2025 already? Yeah, so about 20 years.

Kierra Pelz:

Um, and I I fell in love with it and and I could never live without it both coaching and the sport itself and so I kind of followed down the road and again found myself in a community that didn't have cheerleading, and so I started it and brought it to the community and I'm now a gym owner and advocate for coaches and being better coaches just generally in the sport and how I I connected with the next generation gym owners and now I'm speaking at their conferences and helping them with and basically all of the teachables, but also putting myself in a position where I can continue to learn as well. So that's kind of the long and short of it.

Dr. Jen Fry:

I love it. Look, I will tell you, I am notorious for making a short story longer. I have the gift of that, so there is no short stories with me. So I appreciate you kind of setting the foundation. And I'm a black woman, you're a white woman, and but women are not taught to navigate conflict. We are taught that if we navigate conflict, we're the problem, and so there are so many things that we have to kind of work on internally to be able to solidly navigate conflict. And I think, especially when you talk about a gym owner, though, you are probably navigating conflict a few times a day, depending on the time, and a few times a week Is there a time where you actually don't have conflict going on?

Kierra Pelz:

Oh, never. Maybe when I'm sleeping in my, in my dreams.

Dr. Jen Fry:

And there's always some sort of conflict, yeah.

Dr. Jen Fry:

Right, and people don't realize, when you get into a position of leadership, a position of power, there's going to be some type of conflict, yeah Right, and people don't realize, when you get into a position of leadership, a position of power, there's going to be some type of conflict somehow, some way. And so the thing that we're gonna be talking about is we're going to be talking about here's gonna give five tips for coaches and directors on handling conversation, and we kind of put a space between handling and conversation. It could be direct conversation, it could be direct, it could be difficult, it could be hard. Whatever we're gonna put, you can put the word there you want, but the reality is is handling conversation, and so let's get you started. Friends, what is the first tip you have for people on handling blank conversation?

Kierra Pelz:

okay. So, when coming up with these tips, I, I, uh, you know, I'm looking at my list of five and and, of course, there's um, there's. We could talk all day on this, um. However, I want to make it known that this is in no particular order. Um, no one point is any more important than the other, but, um, we're going to start. Going to start with a rule that I have in the gym, that is voice not text. So, tip number one voice not text.

Kierra Pelz:

And the reason we say this is because often, especially now, when people can hide behind a keyboard, they have a lot more to say, and then being able to read their tone or understand where it is they're coming from makes it that much more difficult. So you've just made a hard conversation even harder by engaging via text message, email, messenger, however that may be. So if we have somebody and I'm going to use the gym the gym that I own in particular a lot, because obviously this is where I'm taking a lot of our examples so when we have a parent, for example, we're going to use the parent to coach interaction. For this example, if a parent sends an email, we use band for team communication. So an email, a band message, a text message, a Facebook messenger message to say, hey, I have a concern about my kid, and they send you this novel.

Kierra Pelz:

I mean, how many of us have opened up our phones and we look at this message and we're like, oh, not again, you know, or something. And in real life, like, deep down for me, even now that I'm a parent, I get it. I understand that you just want what's best for your kid and you want for your kid to be happy and you want to be able to advocate for them and teach them how to manage these types of hard conversations. However, the delivery may be a little bit different, so we have a template for all of our staff that when they receive a message like that, they have an exact, exact copy paste that they can send as a response, and every single. So we have three different ones. So if they, if they contact you kara can I just stop you people.

Dr. Jen Fry:

Get a piece of paper. Get a piece of paper because you need to write down the. This template is not just her talking, it is you writing it down to have for yourself.

Kierra Pelz:

It is that good so, um, when you are, I need to. My slides are all kind of weird here. So, okay, I'm going based on the slide, the slides that I was using for the presentation that you actually sat in on for the NextGen conference. I just need to find, because I have them overlapped so I can't see it unless I'm presenting.

Kierra Pelz:

Okay, so if anything comes in text form, written, not spoken, it should be a direct exchange of information. So, for example, clarification of a time or maybe what they're wearing to practice that day, or sending a file or a link for a registration system or something along those lines. A very direct exchange of information. It should be a clear exchange of facts. If a parent has a concern, then we have them. We have our coaches refer to the templates, and so we have, like I said, a couple of different templates. One is if a parent reaches out via any other form of communication, regardless of the motive or the nature of the message meaning. So at the gym we say that a banned message or email is the only form of information or the only form of communication that is allowed. Um, between parents and coaches, and if they, if they find us on facebook messenger or if they somehow get our phone number, then, um, and they reach out to us through that channel, then this is the response that they have to have. So it says hi, blank, we use their name. Please note that this avenue of communication is not being used for anything Premier Academy related. Please reach out to me via band or email if you have any questions. This message will now be deleted and then, under the template it says then proceed to delete the message and do not engage in any further messages on this platform. Actually deleted, so that and and it's been really great actually, because it gets the point across. It's kind it's like okay, here's, it is, here's it is, and most of the time, um, our, our parents are really good at using those proper channels and and the parents that we interact with. This is also in due to the fact that we hold parent meetings in the beginning of every season and we let them know that this is what's going to happen if they reach out to us on those other channels and on all those other platforms. So they're already aware of it if they've attended the parent meeting. If they haven't attended the parent meeting, I send the parent meeting slides out by email. So if they didn't read the email then like those are those those checklist things that they've that they may be having done, and therefore would then be somehow surprised that that their coach is responding this way. But it's unlikely.

Kierra Pelz:

The second template that we have for our parent or for our coaches is if a parent reaches out to you via band or email to discuss a concern. So, like I said before, direct exchange of information, so maybe a change in time or an attire, what to wear to practice, or a link or something along those lines If they have a concern. This is what your response is. And let me be very clear. This is one, two, three sentences, three, three sentences on how we respond, regardless of what the concern is. So the template reads I blank again, we use their name. Thank you for reaching out. I kindly ask that you schedule a meeting with us. We are committed to finding solutions to any issues or questions you may have. And then it has a link on how to book with us. So we have a booking program, just like Calendly or Acuity or whatever you may use, and then the coaches can put in their own availability and then that way the parent can just book a meeting and that's and that's it, no longer engaging like anything, just because it creates this messy web when you start again, like I said, text, um, voice, not text. So avoiding that web. And that's the template.

Kierra Pelz:

So then the third template, and this happened a lot, actually a lot more than I had anticipated. And I'm so glad that we put this template in, because at first I was like, oh, it probably won't happen, and then I realized it was happening a lot to me. And so for even I guess most specifically for those who are in, maybe, a director position so perhaps you're a director or owner of the club or a head coach, but you don't coach every single team or every single program. Your members will often reach out to you first anyway, because they're trying to go over that head coach's heads. So this template reach uh, if they reach out to you and you don't coach their kid directly. So the template reads hi, insert name. Thank you for reaching out. I kindly ask that you contact athlete's name here coaches directly to schedule a meeting with them first.

Kierra Pelz:

They are best equipped to address and resolve any issues or questions you may have.

Kierra Pelz:

Please use the link below to book with your respective coaches and then we have the link to book with their respective coaches, and that also empowers our coaches.

Kierra Pelz:

Perhaps we have some younger coaches and junior coaches, some rookie coaches, who we want to be able to give them the opportunities to learn how to have these conversations, and we're here to support them a hundred percent all the way through.

Kierra Pelz:

But there's no way that I would have learned how to how to have any of these conversations If my supervisor or my superior, my mentor, didn't give me those opportunities, so she was the one just taking the meetings all the time and solving my problems for me. Then there's no way that I would have been able to to learn how to do this. But then, at the same time, it's not empowering me as a young coach to to have any kind of decision making authority Right, and so this one's a really big one for leaders. For anybody in a director position to empower your coaches to be able to have these conversations, because then they won't feel valued or or worthy of their coaching position. For anybody in a director position to empower your coaches to be able to have these conversations, because then they won't feel valued or worthy of their coaching position if you're not going to let them handle some of these conversations.

Dr. Jen Fry:

Those are. Those are wonderful templates. I think the big thing also is that I understand directors. Many times it's easier for you to handle it. Well, it's just easy. I'm just going to talk to them and you're not just teaching skills to your athletes, you're also teaching skills to your coaches, because your coaches are going to be young and they need to learn how to do this. And we also get that when you're teaching someone a new skill, it's going to be messy and ugly. Well, if you know the kids, the coaches aren't going to say correctly what needs to be said. It's going to cause people to be angry and they still need to learn it. It's like your kids. They want to help you in the kitchen. They're going to destroy your kitchen. Your kitchen will will feel pain it's never felt before. But they need to know how to crack an egg, they need to know how to pour milk, and so when you are saying I will just do it because it's easier for me, you're actually inhibiting growth of others?

Kierra Pelz:

Yeah, absolutely, and that's and that's something that I've had to learn, even as a leader and a gym owner that I was so guilty of that for so long. I would get it. I would just respond and I would book the meeting and I would handle it, and then I'd let the coaches know later. And that's so not fair to them, right, and? And? And oftentimes, when they're in that position as young coaches, they may not feel that way.

Kierra Pelz:

And nobody ever said anything to me. They never said, hey, I wish you would let me have these conversations. I mean, no one is nobody's asking to have those hard conversations with the parents of the kids that they coach. But at the same time, as soon as I said to them hey, you guys, we're going to develop this new model, here are, here's the wording that I'm going to be saying back to those parents who reach out directly to me, who are going over your head, and the response I got from my coaches was it? Wow, it was, it was insane the amount of enthusiasm I had from them in like feeling valued and feeling that they meant something to our organization as a whole. They knew that they were playing a big part in being a coach and not just being a coach, and it's made a huge difference. I'll say that. You know we tried to do this, I've been trying to do this and this kind of goes with delegation as a gym owner as well, just delegation in general.

Kierra Pelz:

It makes a big difference in being able to free up your stress a little bit and not saying that like you're just putting the hard conversations on somebody else, but by teaching them how to do it. It's usually you can put out a fire before it's blazing, right. So those coaches are being taught how to put those fires out before it's blazing, before it gets to you. And there's still opportunities to learn and to grow. And, like you said, it's going to get messy a little bit and there are times where I've still had to come into the meetings. Messy a little bit and there are times where I've still had to come into the meetings. But again, now we have all these systems in place and all of these templates for our coaches to be able to follow, so they feel set up for success. They're not being thrown to the wolves.

Dr. Jen Fry:

Oh, I love that. I love it because it is again about helping them out and also it helps you in some ways as a director, because you're not bogged down to be the problem solver of every single human, Because now, since you don't train them, any small problem, they're coming to you for everything and you're bogged down and you can't do your real job.

Kierra Pelz:

Yeah, and that's I mean, that's what it comes down to, right. When you're spending your time putting out all of these fires, then you have no opportunity left to be able to grow your program the way that you may want to.

Dr. Jen Fry:

Okay, I love that. Friends, thank you very much for listening to part one of this conversation. Stick around for next week's podcast, part two, as we start with number three, to help you with the conversations. Thank you Well, friends, that's it for this episode of five with fry your dose of five insights, ideas and inspiration. If you love what you heard, don't forget to head over to where podcasts are played, to subscribe, share and leave a review. Got a topic you want us to tackle? Drop us a message. We love to hear from you. You can come follow me on ig, twitter, the tiktok at gen fry talks, or join me on linkedin. Look for me at dr gen fry. Until next time, stay curious, stay bold and keep the conversation going. See you on the next five with fry.