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Five with Fry
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Five with Fry
41: If You’re Old Enough For A Mortgage, You’re Too Old For The “Just Joking” Defense
The group chat got leaked, and the spin started fast. Racist, antisemitic, and homophobic “jokes” from 24 to 35-year-old political operatives were quickly brushed off as “just edgy humor.” Commentators framed them as “kids who made a mistake,” even though these are adults with real influence in shaping public culture.
In this episode, we look at what was said, who said it, and how the focus moved from the harm caused to the fear of “ruining lives.” We unpack the double standards that excuse insiders, punish critics, and protect those already in power. Because if words reveal values, then private chats say a lot about how people will lead in public.
You’ll hear a clear, practical framework for accountability—one that focuses on impact over intent. We talk about proportional consequences and outline concrete steps that rebuild trust: removing people from harmful roles, making transparent commitments, and tracking real change. This conversation isn’t about canceling anyone. It’s about setting a culture where accountability and growth actually mean something.
If this resonates, share the episode, leave a review, and help keep these conversations in more feeds. Got a topic you want me to tackle next? Find me on IG, Twitter, TikTok, or LinkedIn at @JenFryTalks, and let’s keep the curiosity and accountability going.
https://www.politico.com/news/2025/10/15/vance-group-chat-young-boys-stupid-things-00609645
Friends, welcome to Five with Friday, where five is the magic number. Whether it's five minutes, five questions, or anything that fits in five. I dive into the big topics that matter, sometimes alone and other times with a friend. From navigating sports, conflict to family dynamics, travel tech, hard-hitting issues, and even politics. Nothing, and I mean nothing's off the table. This is where curiosity meets conversation, and we always sit at an intersection. I'm your host, Dr. Jen Fry of Gen Fry Talks. Let's get into it. Hey friends, welcome to the news episode of Five with Fry. I'm the hostess with the most is Dr. Jen Fry. So let's get into this. Around October 15th or 16th, a group chat was released. And we all know those darn group chats always get people in trouble. So this was a group chat for the young Republicans. And within it, as Political wrote, was that it had some racist, anti-Semitic, and homophobic content, including jokes about gas chambers, slavery, and rape. Even one person mentioned he loved Hitler. And so this was a really, really problematic bunch of group texts, which I would assume the Republican Party would want to distance themselves as far as humanly possible away from and say this is not who we are, this is not what we stand for. This was a group of young Republicans, and it was absolutely unacceptable for them to say. That's what we would think in this day and age is what they would say. Unfortunately, we did not get that. Instead, what we got was J.D. Vance, who said kids do stupid things, especially young boys. He said this was nothing more than edgy offensive jokes. Anti-Semitic, uh racist, and homophobic content is just very edgy jokes. He said, and I quote, the reality is that kids do stupid things, especially young boys. They tell edgy offensive jokes. That's what kids do. And I really don't want us to grow up in a country where a kid telling a stupid joke, telling a very offensive stupid joke is caused to ruin their lives. He said again that the real problem is the idea that offensive joke can ruin a young person's life. So unfortunately, the young Republicans in that group chat were not kids. They were ages 24 to 35. They included state group leaders of young Republican committees, as well as at least one Trump administration staffer. These are grown-ups. These are people that probably pay for their own cell phone bill, own car insurance, and probably even have a mortgage, ages 24 to 35. I don't know about you, but I don't consider a 35-year-old a kid. And I think we need to name how white boys get passes because they're immediately infantiled. And said that they're just boys who do stupid things. If we go back to Brock Turner, one mistake shouldn't ruin a young boy's life, even though it was rape behind a garbage can, it shouldn't ruin a young boy's life. And we're seeing this here. These horrible, offensive jokes shouldn't be ruining young people's lives, even though they're grown-ups. And so this is one way where we see a pivot occurring. The pivot is away from the actual horrible stuff that they said to trying to force people to now have the conversation about the age of the people and should they have consequences. Yes, they should. Because they knew what they were saying, they knew what they were doing, they were doing these jokes gleefully. Ha ha hee hee. They knew what they were doing, they just didn't think they would get caught. And I think we need to name that the same person, J.D. Vance, who says, kids just say dumb things. A young person's life shouldn't be ruined, is the same person that if anyone made any Charlie Kirk joke, who talked about Charlie Kirk contact contact of any way, they should be losing their job, they should be kicked out of school. He wanted to scorch the earth with them. But now these people who are making horrible jokes collectively should not have consequences because they're just young people. And I think we should really pay attention to how white folks, especially Republicans, are getting passes on what they're saying, which is problematic because there should be a level of accountability for things like this, especially when they are the future of the Republican Party. But the things that they said are trying to be slipped under the idea of they're just too young to understand, and they the they just do stupid things. No, they are grown humans, they know exactly what they are doing, and they choose to continue making those jokes. And like with anything, you can choose whatever you want to say. But unfortunately, things have consequences. And them saying those type of jokes with the positions that they have should absolutely mean that there's gonna be consequences. And hopefully they learn to not say those type of things, and that's unacceptable. Will they learn? Who knows? But there absolutely should be consequences. Well, friends, that's it for this episode of Five with Fry. Your dose of five insights, ideas, and inspiration. If you love what you heard, don't forget to head over to where podcasts are played to subscribe, share, and leave a review. Got a topic you want us to tackle? Drop us a message. We'd love to hear from you. You can come follow me on IG, Twitter, the TikTok at Genfry Talks, or join me on LinkedIn. Look for me at Dr. Genfry. Until next time, stay curious, stay bold, and keep the conversation going. See you on the next Five with Fry.