Five with Fry
Five with Fry is your go-to podcast for understanding conflict—where it comes from, why it shows up, and how to handle it with clarity and intention. On each episode, Dr. Jen Fry breaks down the moments we avoid, the reactions we default to, and the skills it takes to move through conflict without blowing things up or shutting down.
Five with Fry
47: Stop Sugarcoating. You’re Not A Bakery.
What actually happens when you stop tiptoeing around someone’s feelings and start telling the truth with care? In this episode, we dig into the real work of hard conversations: be clear, be kind, and stop pretending emotions don’t exist. No sugarcoating. No “maybe kinda sorta.” Just honest language delivered with respect.
We start by calling out the myth of emotion-free feedback. It doesn’t work, it isn’t fair, and it usually makes things worse. People have feelings. That is normal. Trying to dodge them only creates confusion and erodes trust. We talk about the real cost of softening the blow: overthinking at 2 a.m., mixed messages, and relationships that feel shaky instead of solid.
You’ll get phrasing you can use right away, whether you need to tell a player she isn’t starting or let a friend know you can’t make their event. We cover why early honesty is a kindness and how to set a clear boundary around respectful behavior. Feeling emotions is fine. Being disrespectful is not.
We also walk through a simple way to follow through after delivering hard news: share context without trying to control someone’s reaction, invite questions, summarize next steps, and set a time to check back in. Leaders, coaches, teammates, and friends who practice this build deeper trust because people know they will get the truth early and the space to process it.
If this episode resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who’s facing a tough conversation, and leave a review. If you have a topic you want me to tackle next, send it my way. You can also find me on IG, Twitter, and TikTok @jenfrytalks or LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.
Friends, welcome to Five with Fry, where five is the magic number. Whether it's five minutes, five questions, or anything that fits in five. I dive into the big topics that matter, sometimes alone and other times with a friend. From navigating sports, conflict, to family dynamics, travel, tech, hard-hitting issues, and even politics. Nothing, and I mean nothing's off the table. This is where curiosity meets conversation, and we always sit at an intersection. I'm your host, Dr. Jen Fry of Gen Fry Talks. Let's get into it. Hey friends, welcome to the newest episode of Five with Fry. I am your hostess with the most is Dr. Jen Fry. So we're going to talk about how a lot of people come up to me and they say, How can I tell someone blank without them getting upset, frustrated, hurt, or whatever the emotion is, fill in the blank. And the reality is you can't. If you're giving someone hard news, frustrated news, disappointing news, whatever the type of news is, you cannot expect them to not emote. That's so unfair to someone to say, I'm giving you this really hard piece of information, but you can't have normal humans' emotions. That's unfair to them. And I think you're doing them a disservice with not allowing them to emote. When you ask, how do I give all of this hard information without them emoting? What you're saying is that they don't deserve to have those emotions in that time. And that's untrue. We've got to get away from the idea that we have to figure out how to give them give hard information without emotions being there. What you need instead to do is figure out how do I give people space to emote when they get this information. How do I give empathy and understanding when I'm giving them this information? Because if we are trying to find ways to make sure people don't emote, then we're not gonna give them the truth. We're not gonna be honest with them. We're gonna find a way to massage what we have to say so much that sometimes they're not even gonna realize what we're saying. Or they're gonna leave with so many questions that instead of them being able to process the hard information, they're sitting there with all these questions in their mind. They're overthinking, they're not sleeping, they have a knot in their stomach all because you're afraid of them emoting, so you didn't give them the truth. We have got to be better truth tellers in hard moments and then allow people the space to have the feelings they want to have. I'm not saying that people get to cuss you out or be disrespectful or any of that. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that people are gonna have normal emotions when things are told to them. For instance, if you're gonna go tell a starter on a volleyball team that she's not starting for an important game, give her space to emote and say, I know this is gonna be a little hard to process. I understand that, but I really wanted to tell you the truth. I want to be honest with you. That's a lot different than trying to massage, well, you might go in, you might not, I'm not really sure. I haven't made the lineup, you've made the lineup, you know what you've done. Tell the truth. It's like if you know you can't go to a friend's event or a trip, tell them early. Don't him and ha and be like, oh yeah, I'm definitely going, and you know you're not going. Tell them and give them space to be upset. You're doing a disservice when you're not telling the truth, and it gets closer to the event because you're worried about them emoting. People are gonna emote when they get bad news that's normal, and for you, as a person who has to deliver it, should expect it. The better you are at delivering it and giving space for emotion, the better people are gonna feel around you because they know you'll tell the truth. No one wants to hang around people who aren't truth tellers because they're worried about how that'll be impacted when someone emotes. Be a better human, use your words, and be a truth teller, even when it might suck. Well, friends, that's it for this episode of Five with Fry. Your dose of five insights, ideas, and inspiration. If you love what you heard, don't forget to head over to where podcasts are played to subscribe, share, and leave a review. Got a topic you want us to tackle? Drop us a message. We'd love to hear from you. You can come follow me on IG, Twitter, the TikTok, at Genfry Talks, or join me on LinkedIn. Look for me at Dr. Genfry. Until next time, stay curious, stay bold, and keep the conversation going. See you on the next Five with Fry.