Five with Fry
Five with Fry is your go-to podcast for understanding conflict—where it comes from, why it shows up, and how to handle it with clarity and intention. On each episode, Dr. Jen Fry breaks down the moments we avoid, the reactions we default to, and the skills it takes to move through conflict without blowing things up or shutting down.
Five with Fry
46: Therapy Was Going Great… Then Auntie Showed Up
The holiday glow can flip into a pressure cooker the second you step through a familiar door. In this episode, we dig into why even steady healing can wobble at home, how old family dynamics reactivate like muscle memory, and why one simple comment can launch you straight back to age sixteen.
We talk about the “home script” that pulls you into past roles—and how to rewrite it. You’ll get practical boundary phrases that actually diffuse tension, language that redirects without apology, and simple tools to keep your nervous system from burning out when the people who installed your buttons start pushing them.
We cover the essentials:
- The holiday trigger trap and why it feels sudden
- Pre-planning your visit (including what you’ll skip)
- Identifying allies and setting exits without guilt
- Micro-resets you can use in real time (breath, movement, sensory anchors)
- Reframing regression as context—not failure
- Building in recovery time so you come back to your life clear and steady
Whether your season includes Thanksgiving tables, Boxing Day traditions, Christmas gatherings, or Kwanzaa plans, this conversation helps you stay grounded while still enjoying the food, the warmth, and the stories worth keeping. Healing doesn’t mean never being triggered—it means meeting those moments with awareness, structure, and self-respect.
If this one hits home, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs backup, and leave a quick review. Got a topic you want us to tackle? Send it our way. You can always find Jen on IG, TikTok, and Twitter at @JenFryTalks, or on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.
Friends, welcome to Five with Friday, where five is the magic number. Whether it's five minutes, five questions, or anything that fits in five. I dive into the big topics that matter, sometimes alone and other times with a friend. From navigating sports, conflict, to family dynamics, travel tech, hard-hitting issues, and even politics. Nothing, and I mean nothing's off the table. This is where curiosity meets conversation, and we always sit at an intersection. I'm your host, Dr. Jen Fry of Gen Fry Talks. Let's get into it. I'm your hostess with Demostus, Dr. Gen Fry. So today we're gonna talk about how you can be so unbelievably healed until you go back home. Nothing will destroy your healing like your family. Right now, when I'm recording this, it's coming up on the holidays of Thanksgiving, Boxing Day, Christmas, Kwanzaa, everything that's gonna be happening. And so I want you to think about it because you're gonna be probably seeing your family a lot. More than you have throughout the year. Throughout the year when you've been doing your therapy, your meditation, when you've been relaxing, reading your books, which I know you've been reading mine. I said no, how to have backbone boundaries without being a jerk, which is being sold in Amazon and Barnes and Noble. I know you're reading that. But you got your candles lit, like you are just doing all the healing, and then you have to go home. Like, hello. And so I heard this quote, and it says, Family members know which buttons to push because they're the ones who sewed them on. And that really sat with me. Because I don't think we understand the effects of family and the effects of trauma on us. And so I say all this to say that you're gonna have to give yourself some grace, my friends. You're gonna have to not beat yourself up because you thought you were just gonna be fine and healed and not let your brother get to you and not snap at your auntie, and you thought, baby, everything was gonna be fine, and then you get home and you realize, nope, I somehow go right back to being 15, 16, or 17, and you can beat yourself up over that. But I need you to give yourself grace and understand they know what buttons buttons to push, they know how to push them long, hard, quick, whatever it is, they know what buttons to push. And so if you're not giving yourself grace, you're gonna come back from the holidays worn the heck out emotionally, not physically, emotionally. You're gonna think you haven't healed in the ways you thought, and that's not true. You have. Family is just different. It always is, and so I need you to be prepared. I need you to know the emotions that are gonna come up. I need you to understand that it's okay if there's some regression. It's family. Everyone can't be a hundred percent healed around the people that made them. So as you step into this holiday time, give yourself grace and understanding and tell yourself you are doing the best job at this moment that you can. And that, my friends, is all that matters. Have some great holidays and have some dang good food. I'm gonna be in Mexico enjoying the sun like a rotisserie chicken. Well, friends, that's it for this episode of Five with Fry. Your dose of five insights, ideas, and inspiration. If you love what you heard, don't forget to head over to where podcasts are played, subscribe, share, and leave a review. Got a topic you want us to tackle? Drop us a message. We'd love to hear from you. You can come follow me on IG, Twitter, the TikTok at Gen Fry Talks, or join me on LinkedIn. Look for me at Dr. Gen Fry. Until next time, stay curious, stay bold, and keep the conversation going. See you on the next Five with Fry.