Five with Fry
Five with Fry is your go-to podcast for understanding conflict—where it comes from, why it shows up, and how to handle it with clarity and intention. On each episode, Dr. Jen Fry breaks down the moments we avoid, the reactions we default to, and the skills it takes to move through conflict without blowing things up or shutting down.
Five with Fry
50: Cookie Decorating Broke Me, And That’s Okay
Some holidays don’t feel festive. They feel quiet in a way that echoes.
If this is your first holiday alone, your kids are somewhere else, you’ve moved, divorced, or lost someone, the pressure to “make it special” can feel like way too much. Especially when your energy is already thin.
In this episode, I talk about that loneliness without dressing it up—and about what actually helps. Including a cookie-decorating plan that went off the rails fast and reminded me (again) that chasing the picture of a perfect holiday usually costs more than it gives back.
We talk about choosing ease over performance. Making small, specific plans instead of vague ones that fall apart. Naming loneliness so it doesn’t run the whole week. And creating simple rituals that fit this version of your life—not the one you’re supposed to be in.
That might look like one shared meal, a short call, a walk with a neighbor, lighting a candle for someone you miss, or letting go of traditions that require more energy than you have.
This isn’t about fixing the holiday. It’s about getting through it with a little more steadiness, honesty, and care.
If this episode feels like something you needed, pass it along. And if you have a low-effort tradition that actually brings you comfort, I’d love to hear it.
Friends, welcome to Five with Friday, where five is the magic number. Whether it's five minutes, five questions, or anything that fits in five. I dive into the big topics that matter, sometimes alone and other times with a friend. From navigating sports, conflict, to family dynamics, travel tech, hard-hitting issues, and even politics. Nothing, and I mean nothing's off the table. This is where curiosity meets conversation, and we always sit at an intersection. I'm your host, Dr. Jen Fry of Gen Fry Talks. Let's get into it. Hey friends, welcome to the news episode of Five with Fry. I'm your hostess with the most, Dr. Gen Fry. We are coming upon Christmas week. And for some people, this can be really difficult because of lost loved ones. It might be your first Christmas by yourself, without family, because you moved away. Maybe without your kids, they're with their um other person, or maybe they decide to have their first Christmas with the people they're dating. Um it could just be multiple reasons why you're alone. And it can be really difficult. And so the thing I just want to say to you is that if you're sitting in this time of having to navigate your first Christmas alone for whatever reason, to give yourself grace. Because holidays alone can be hard, especially when you think about the big things you used to do before. I myself uh uh usually travel around this time, so this is gonna be the second year I will be here. And one of my best friends, we get to hang out Thanksgiving night, because we both are sleeping in and we're not about to do anything early. But what tends to happen is that uh I make these elaborate plans for something we're gonna do. And I I don't realize exactly how much time and effort needs to go into that thing. And unfortunately, my friend forces me to finish doing the thing, which is so rude to him. So last year I wanted to decorate cookies. Y'all, I did not know how difficult and time consuming it is to decorate cookies. Like I went and I spent the money, and you know, we cut all the different types of cookies, and I have all the icings and the different types of end thingies to use. And your girl was about two cookies in, and I was like, I don't know if I can continue this madness. And the problem was was that I was so adamant that we do this that he was like, No, ma'am, you are going to finish decorating all of those cookies that we had to make because this is what you want to do. And one of the things about me is I'm just not that creative. I don't understand how to like just decorate some stuff and it looks really cute. Like I I have these ideas in my mind, and usually they don't come out the way I think it is. And when I started decorating these cookies, not only do I not know how to use these ends, like I don't even know how which like which one do I use for the razzle and the other one for the dazzle. Like I don't even know any of that. And so that experience was brutal because I was forced to decorate like seven more cookies. I mean y'all. The horror of it. And I wasn't even gonna eat the cookies, like I maybe had one or two, but I wasn't about to eat anything with all that icing and be doing backflips around my house. And so I think this year I gotta find something else for us to do that I'm gonna want to bail out, not even halfway through, but like at the beginning stages of it, because I realize that's a lot harder than I thought. And so I say all this to say is that if you're spending your first holiday alone, see what friends you can spend it with, and start figuring out some different things you can do that you'll enjoy. Because sitting there being sad is just gonna make it feel worse. So find some people, find someone, and find something that you can do so that you can be just spending some time together. It might not end up being what you really want to do, but you at least make some really good memories to start moving forward. And that's the thing I want from you. So go have a great holiday, and just don't try and ice cookies because it's actually pretty brutal. Well, friends, that's it for this episode of Five with Fry. Your dose of five insights, ideas, and inspiration. If you love what you heard, don't forget to head over to where podcasts are played to subscribe, share, and leave a review. Got a topic you want us to tackle? Drop us a message. We'd love to hear from you. You can come follow me on IG, Twitter, the TikTok at Genfry Talks, or join me on LinkedIn. Look for me at Dr. Genfry. Until next time, stay curious, stay bold, and keep the conversation going. See you on the next Five with Fry.